Sunday, May 29, 2011

25 ways to make mess

1. Eat out of trash

2. Chew nice bones on carpet

3. Drag comfort towel outside, then back in. Shake and repeat until floor is covered with dust and grass.

4. Wait until floor mats have been in use for a bit. Pick up and shake.

5. Pull pillows off couch

6. Pull clean clothes off line

7. Roll all over bed before it is made to get fur stuck in sheets

8. Roll all over bed after it is made to mess up blankets

9. Shed everywhere

10. Bring sticks inside to chew

11. Move shoes from the shoe pile

12. Play with recycling

13. Chew up food measuring cup

14. Chew up clothes pins

15. Pull trees apart in yard

16. Distract Jacinta before she has time to clean her dishes

17. Lick dishes sitting on endtable

18. Put toys in middle of floor so others trip while carrying things

19. Dig water out of water bowl

20. Drool on floor

21. Get stick stuck in thoat then vomit on floor

22. Rip up plastic bag

23. Play in water and wait until are inside to shake off

24. Lick floor of shower

25. Find open cupboard and knock over all the things

With right materials and bit of practice, you too can make messes like pro!

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

See how much am learning!

Had many fun today. Went to park and played in mud! Would dig and dig and dig and bark and bark and bark. Also dragged large stick around and shook water all over Jacinta.

Training going well for both cover school and Superdog School.

In cover school, have been having to play the heel game a bit, but mostly have to sit-stay and down-stay. Can do fine at home but is difficult for at class because other dogs so dumb and distracting. Also in class are learning to stand-stay. Is seriously difficult for, because love to meet people. People so lovely. And can not say hello to instructor when have to stand stay. Other thing are learning is come and finish. Are easy because have been learning since was just young pup. Loved to show off at class and do perfectly, and instructor and people classmates all praised.

In Superdog School, am learning many things. First, am learning where are two poles sticking out of ground. Must run through. Then poles get turned so must run through but alongside. Is confusing.

Second, am learning tire jump. Is round hole that must jump through. When jump through, am allowed to run through tunnel. Is many fun.

Third, am learning many jumps. Are 5 jumps set up in row, with little space to run between. Must bounce, bounce, bounce! Bouncing so silly though. Think, would be better if jumped two jumps at once!

Favourite toy in yard!

Is called the bouncing stick.

Monday, May 23, 2011

Found source of mysterious squeaking noise!

That smell. That smell from yesterday. Is so tantalizing. Found the source. Is in here.

Hello little one! Yes, is definitely toy. Is so exciting to sniff and sniff and sniff.

According to Jacinta, is a creature called a Chardonnay. Guess, am not supposed to be too interested in Chardonnay-Toy. When cage is on table, will sniff and sniff and sniff but when get bored and go away, CLICK! Must turn away from cage more often to get food.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Smell a new smell!

Is new smell in house today. Smells like small and toy and food all at once. Never have known anything like, except smells little like how Jacinta smell after work, but stronger. Am curious to know what smell is. Maybe can play and pounce and chase with!

Friday, May 13, 2011

Evil dogs getting sneaky.

Was calm afternoon yesterday. Was just minding own business and relaxing in house. All of sudden, Jacinta noticed dog in front yard! Being only human that is, went to "rescue" it. Dog was beautiful merle black and white, and large with floppy ears. Acted so shy but came to Jacinta. Was also so skinny. But when brought up to door, knew. Just KNEW. Was a disguise! Was a trap! Evil dog trying to get into house! Would not stand for! Barked and barked and growled and growled to defend house and family. Tried to get to GO AWAY.

Jacinta tried to explain how dog was so skinny and had no tags, so must take to vet to get microchip scanned. Was so scared for, to be trapped in car with EVIL dog. When drove off, thought would never see again. And was gone for so long. Really thought was kidnapped and would have to go save.

According to Jacinta, went to vet's office to check for chip, but had no chip, so had to take dog to other vet's office where could be taken care of for the weekend. After weekend, think vet's office will call pound to come and pick dog up. Jacinta sad on this point, but should not be. Is GOOD for EVIL DOG to go to jail. Hopefully will not see ever again.

Monday, May 9, 2011

Home alone is better when have bone!

Am so lucky. Other day Jacinta come home from work with new and delicious thing! Have had before at house of Other Cuddly Lady and Man Who Gives Chicken. Is bone and is delicious! Work for Jacinta not so cruel when can munch and munch all day.
Can carry around and take bone to nice part of yard, and relax and chew and lick. Think, also helps with the mind control. Mind is clearer when have bone to play with. Not so much want to bark and feel frustrate. Hope, can have many bones in future! Is one bad thing. Jacinta says, breath smells weird. At least is clean weird, but marrow breath weird to her nonetheless.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

River is so love

Seems has been so long since very first swim, yes? And now, love to jump and jump and jump in water. Make big splashes and find sticks. Would like to try game called "dock jumping" where have toy high above water. Must grab toy and SPLASH! into water. Would be fun, think.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Mind Control is dirty trick.

Do not know what is what. Cannot think since have been punished by evil neighbours, with collar of doom. Cannot have fun during day with keeping birds out of yard or talking to other dogs. Must be quiet. And when am quiet all day, am so energied when Jacinta comes home. Cannot contain excitement. When before was so quiet when Jacinta came home, now must bark so high pitched. So high pitched cannot be sprayed by collar. And will bark and bark and bark and whine and whine and whine for minutes and minutes.

Will do same thing at training when am tied up. Cannot stand for when Jacinta walks even two steps away. Will begin to scream. If Jacinta goes out of sight am okay and will be quiet but vigilant awaiting return. But here is thing. When Jacinta back in sight, begin to scream again. Know that screaming only makes Jacinta walk out of sight but cannot stop myself. Do not know why am doing it. Is so strange. Feel maybe am being mind controlled by collar. Jacinta been saying, maybe will need to get in a professional mind control fixer. One even better than her that has been working in mind control fixing for long long time. Because even when Jacinta try to fix, seems only to make mind control worse.